Bittersweet

As most of you have heard by now, our family will be moving to the Atascadero area at the end of September/early October. This is both exciting and sad at the same time. Since the whole story takes a long time to tell, you can read the whole thing below. So, grab a cup of coffee, settle in, and read how God has been working on our lives.

Our Story...

December 2013/Beginning of January 2014

Michelle: We both individually sensed God telling us to “Get the house ready to sell.” However at that time neither of us vocalized that to each other. So Chris began working on building the trash enclosure in the kitchen, a project that had long been on our list of house projects to finish. I was excited to see him working on that project, and as he finished I said to him, “I'm really glad you finished that project, I've sensed that we need to get the house ready.” At that point he looked at me with a curious look and said, “I've heard the same thing.”

At that point I think I cried, knowing that some big changes were coming ahead. We had no further direction, but determined that is what we would focus on, getting the house ready. So we made a list of projects to complete and began crossing them off (we are list people, so crossing things off a list is very satisfying!)

Mid-January 2014

Chris: I was leading worship on a Sunday morning at our church, Calvary Chapel Oxnard, and was leading the song “Oceans” by Hillsong. If you're not familiar with it, you can listen to it here. As I was singing the bridge, God very clearly spoke to me (as clear as I’ve only heard Him a couple times in my life). Here are the words of the bridge:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters wherever you would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my savior

While I was singing this bridge I heard God say, “Really?” Now this was not audible, but I could hear Him speaking none the less.  I was shocked so I kind of just froze.  And then I heard God say a second time “Really?” To which I responded, “Yes.”  And then God said, “You're not going to be here much longer.” Which I knew meant “You will not be serving like this, as the Worship Pastor, at Calvary Oxnard much longer.”

When I got home from church that day, I told Michelle what had happened, and I think she cried again. We generally don't like change, and the reality that a very big change was coming was becoming more real. At this point, we still didn't know what this all meant. Was I just going to another ministry and we would stay in Ventura? Were we moving out of the area? We had no clue.

Michelle: For the next part of the story we need to go back a couple years. We were visiting some good friends in Atascadero, having dinner at their house. We loved the feel of the community, the small town, the spacious yards and big oak trees. Our friends were telling us about their neighborhood and what it was like to raise their kids there. As we left, Chris and I both agreed this would be great place to raise a family. That was the end of the conversation and we didn’t give it any more thought at the time.

Chris: Fast forward to 2014, as we were continuing to pray about whatever it is that God had next for us, that conversation years ago about Atascadero came to mind. We really questioned whether that desire was planted there by God or was just our own. We prayed that if it was our own desire that God would pluck it and remove it since we wanted to stay in the center of His will and not our own. As we prayed about it individually and together, the desire and tug from the Lord kept growing. Psalm 37:4 kept coming to mind: “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”  This verse doesn’t mean God will give you thing that you desire, but that he will place those desires in your heart in the first place.  So as we prayed it became clear that God put that desire in our hearts years back and was now telling us to act.  And with each trip north this year, we sensed more and more that the Atascadero area is where God was calling.

January-May

Chris: Ever since we started attending Calvary Oxnard (2005) we have felt very strongly that this was where God wanted us.  When I was offered the full time position as Worship Pastor the calling was very strong and clear.  Through the past 7 1/2 years that calling has remained clear and we knew exactly where we were supposed to be, Calvary Oxnard.  After that Sunday in January, when I heard the Lord speaking, we have both felt that same calling being shifted from Calvary Oxnard to Atascadero.  To what in Atascadero we are not sure, but we just keep hearing the same thing... “Move there.” 

Now we know that some people may try and read into this and ask the question: “what is the real reason they are leaving...what's happening behind the scenes that they aren't telling us?”  And the truth is...NOTHING!  We both feel like things at the church have never been better and that the worship ministry has never been in a better place since we have been there.  I love what I do, love the people I work with and we absolutely love Pastor Lance, our church, and everyone in it.  There is no rift, no underlying motive, no broken relationships, and no attitude of, “we can't wait to get out of this place.”  We love the area and we love the people. The easy and most comfortable thing for us to do would be to stay.  We know that this will be the hardest thing we have ever done in our lives and we don't look forward to the process, but we do look forward to what God wants to do next with us and there is excitement knowing that the Lord has spoken so clearly to move.

Michelle: During this time, beginning in February, I was doing a Bible study through the book of John with If:Equip. Every day there was a passage of scripture to read and then a time to journal. We finished the book of John at the end of April. At that time, the If:Equip study leaders posed the question: Consider the person and life of Jesus. If you believe it to be true…then what?

To ponder this, I read back over all my journal notes through the study of John and put together a bullet point list (I told you we like lists!) of the things God had been speaking to me during this time. Here’s a portion of it:

·         Whatever He says to you, do it

·         Believe Jesus the first time

·         Don’t make excuses and obey Jesus

·         Do what you see God doing, do not put the honor of men above doing God’s will

·         God sometimes sends us into the storm but He is never far away

·         Hear and obey, do not hesitate

·         Clarity will come eventually, but not without first walking the path of trust

·         Jesus makes Himself known to us as we obey Him.

·         Be confident in the promises of God

·         God always provides for us even in loss

·         Jesus freely meets us when we seek Him

·         God will equip us for His work

When I put this all together at the end of April, I could see how God was subtly preparing, calling, and comforting me all at the same time. We feel we cannot ignore the call of God and must be obedient to whatever it is He is calling us to next.

May 2014

Michelle: We drove north again for Chris' cousin's wedding in Lockwood, which he was officiating. During our time there, we strongly sensed that was where we needed to be (not Lockwood exactly, but that general area). As we drove home, we really felt the need to “spill our guts” to someone and get an outside perspective on all that had been happening. We had not told anyone our thoughts about moving, other than Chris' parents and siblings, who we told that weekend at the wedding so they could pray for us. We wanted the counsel of someone who could hear all we had to say and tell us, “You're crazy, this is nuts” or “It sounds like you are hearing from the Lord, keep on.”

So, when we got home Sunday night from our trip, Chris called our friends the Trigg’s. All he told them was that we wanted to run some things by them and get their input and perspective. We deeply admire the Trigg’s and knew that they had been through things like this in ministry before. So we set up a time to meet the following day. As we drove over to the Trigg’s house that Monday afternoon, Chris asked me how sure I was that we were moving. We both felt about 90% sure at that point that a move to Atascadero was coming.

When we sat down with Charley and Caryn, we told them everything that we’ve written about so far. The whole time we were talking, both of them sat there and smiled and nodded knowingly. I took that as a good sign that we weren’t crazy, at least their jaws weren’t dropping on the floor.

When we finished, Caryn responded first. She said after she got off the phone with Chris the previous day, the Holy Spirit spoke to her that we were moving somewhere in the San Luis Obispo area. Then Charley spoke and said as he had been praying that morning for us and for our conversation to come that evening and God spoke to him that if we were in unity of heart that we were moving north. Now our jaws dropped!  To us, this was major confirmation that we were hearing from the Lord and He was the one directing us, and it was not just our own crazy desires. Through the rest of our conversation, they gave us some great counsel and encouragement. As we drove home, we talked again and were now 100% sure we were moving north to the Atascadero area. For me, the reality also set in that while this was an exciting time of being called and directed by God, it was also going to be a difficult time of saying good-byes. 

Chris: After talking to the Trigg’s our next step was to tell Pastor Lance.  I was particularly dreading this conversation, not because I was afraid of his reaction, but because I respect him so much. He has poured in to me so much over the last 9 years and I didn’t want to seem ungrateful.  I was in my office on Wednesday, 2 days after talking with the Trigg’s, and sensing that I needed to tell him that day.  I prayed, Lord if you want me to tell him bring him in my office and have him ask how things are going.  Lance’s office is down the street from mine so this isn’t an everyday occurrence.  Within the hour I hear Lance come in the front door and my heart starts pumping. He goes about his normal business in our workroom and then walks down the hall into my office, leans against my desk and asks: “Chris, how’s life?”  I responded, “Well, you got about half an hour?”  I proceeded to tell him everything!  And let me tell you what an amazing Pastor we have.  He sat there beaming and grinning the whole time.  When I was done he genuinely was excited for us and that God was moving in this way.  He even offered to help us find some leads in the Atascadero area and said he wanted to help us in any way he could.  He told me that we needed to be obedient to the call of the Lord and to go when God says.  I told him that we were thinking about leaving in the fall, and no earlier than August, but still didn’t have a date.  He said to keep things quite until we had an exit date.

One of the things that we had trouble reconciling was Hannah’s school.  She will be starting first grade in the fall. We had checked out a lot of schools for her for the upcoming school year and decided on a school in Camarillo.  It is a hybrid program where the students are homeschooled Monday and Tuesday and are in a normal class setting the rest of the week.  We liked the school and the curriculum and felt a real peace from God about sending her there.  So before all of this other stuff came to a head, we signed a contract saying we were on the hook for the tuition for the whole school year and had already sent in a deposit.  We didn’t want to pay tuition for a full year when it looked like we were probably going to leave in the fall of this year so we didn’t know what to do. 

We were asking God why He would lead us to this school and then lead us in the opposite direction to Atascadero almost at the same time.  So I decided to call the Headmaster of the school and just be honest about everything and ask his advice.  So I did (on Friday) and I asked if it would be better if we put Hannah in public school and if we started the process now if they would let us out of our contract.  He stopped me and said, no, no, no!  He said, “We would love to have Hannah as long as we can, even if it is only for a couple weeks.  God is doing something in your family and we want to be a part of it. All you have to do is write a letter to the school board explaining your situation and I’m positive they will let you off of the remainder of your tuition payments.  Not only that, but when it is time for you to leave we will set you guys up with the curriculum and training so you will be able to home school her for the rest of the year if you want.  That way you won’t have to worry about finding her a school up there until you are ready to.”  I was sitting on the other end of the phone with my jaw dropped again. This made everything make sense and provided a way for us to leave when we thought it was right instead of in a rush or waiting too long to make everything work with Hannah for school.  Who would have thought…God knew what he was doing all along!

At the end of May we finished “The List.”  All of those house projects were done so we called our realtor Tim.  Tim helped us buy our condo and is an amazing man of God and a friend of ours.  We had him over and told him what God was doing.  He walked us through the process of selling a home, since we have only bought, and answered a bunch of questions.  After meeting with him we felt like moving to Atascadero at the end of September/beginning of October seemed right.  So I told Lance the next day that my last day on staff at the church will be September 15^th.  And then all this craziness started becoming a reality!

Michelle: So here we are, it’s out in the open. We are moving and now you all know. We still don’t know why for sure God is moving us there, but we trust He has a purpose for our family. Chris knows that he is not being called out of ministry, but doesn’t know which ministry he is being called to.  He still has his Contractors License and a growing business making Bronco Boxes (broncoboxes.com) and I have my Architecture License. So we have some options if need be when we get up there. These last six months have been a roller coaster of emotions, from excitement to sadness and everything in between. We feel a great sense of loss, leaving our friends, some family, our church and this beautiful area. But we are trusting that it is not in vain and that God will fill in where voids are left.

We sincerely hope to continue friendships we have made here, even though there will be distance between us. And I am hoping to keep up with this blog as we transition to keep you all informed of how things go. We appreciate all your prayers. If you have any questions about this crazy ride, feel free to talk with us about it or leave a comment here and I/we will respond.

Going...Green?

To be honest, the phrase "going green" bothers me. For one, there is no definition of what that means. For example, a bill I received from Kaiser yesterday had this line on it: Go green! Pay your bill online at (website).

The only problem with this, Kaiser already sent all the papers and by paying my bill online I am not doing anything to be "green." No more paper is generated, I simply tear off a portion of what they already sent and send it back to them, in the envelope provided. On the contrary, I am actually supporting the USPS by mailing in my payment.

In the architecture/design industry, the phrase "green" is thrown around a lot. Clients want a green building without really knowing what that means. Often times it can cost more to implement "green" products or building systems, and the cost savings doesn't show up until years down the road.

Now, I know I sound rather negative so far. Let me say this, I am in favor of being environmentally conscious. God has given us this earth to live on, enjoy and care for. We ought to be good stewards. That being said, I struggle with the balance of living out that conviction while also maintaining a budget. We do little things around the house, like using cloth napkins (sometimes), taking reusable bags to the grocery store, and recycling paper, cardboard and plastic. Here are some other small steps I've taken so far, what's working and what's not.

Homemade Laundry Detergent
This is extremely cheap to make. I've tried two versions, one liquid and one powder. I did not like the liquid version. For one, the recipe I used made a 5-gallon bucket of detergent which is difficult to store. And it just didn't seem to do the job on the kids clothes. They play hard and get a lot of stains. We have very hard water, so I don't know if that affected how well it worked.
This powdered version from Joyful Thrifty Home is what I use. It's easy to make, especially if you have a food processor. The only negative, it doesn't work well for washing in cold water. It doesn't seem to fully dissolve. So for my cold loads I use liquid Tide. I also add a little Oxiclean to my warm water loads. And I spot treat the tough stains. Here's what my laundry cabinet looks like:

Super Washing Soda, Baking Soda, Borax, Tide cold water, my homemade detergent, and spot treatment

Homemade Glass Cleaner
 I can't remember where I got this recipe from, but there are tons out there.

1 clean 32 ounce spray bottle

1/3 cup white vinegar

¼ cup rubbing alcohol

3 ½ cups water.

 Mix all the ingredients in the spray bottle and shake gently before using. Spray on dirty windowpane or other glass surface and dry with a crumpled newspaper. (I use a paper towel)

Homemade All-Purpose Cleaner
I made this Multi-Purpose Citrus Cleaner a while back and have been happy with it so far. My only complaint, I did not put enough orange peels in the jar to completely mask the vinegar smell. She recommends adding essential oils, which I do not have, so that would probably take care of the vinegar smell issue. Also, I have a very strong sense of smell that in this case works against me.

Homemade Dishwasher Detergent
I like the idea of this and really wish it worked better for us. I do keep some on hand in case I run out of the regular stuff. This is the recipe I made from Stacy Makes Cents.
As I mentioned before, we have very hard water so that may have played a factor in how well this worked. Even when I use regular, Target brand dishwashing powder I have to fill the main compartment with half Lemi-Shine. And by the way, if you have hard water and have not discovered Lemi-Shine, it's time to be enlightened. It's made a huge difference in how well our dishwasher works. The cheapest place I've found it is at Wal-Mart.

 The main thing I like about using these homemade cleaners is that if Caleb accidentally gets a hold of one it will not hurt him. Because he has in the past made his way under the kitchen sink and sprayed a spray bottle on himself. 

To be honest, my main motivation for trying all these natural, homemade cleaning recipes was cost savings. Since we are a one-income family I try very hard to be as good of a steward as I can with our money. Which, even if I was still working, I would want to try and do anyways. The added benefit of not having chemicals around the kids is a plus, and also knowing that maybe, in a small way, I am doing my part to be more environmentally conscious.

Do you have any favorite homemade cleaning recipes? If so, let me know! I'm open to trying more.

Caleb Turns Two

This May we celebrated Caleb's second birthday! It's hard to believe two years have gone by already. On the other hand, with the occasional temper tantrums, it very much feels like we are in the twos. 

There is so much personality wrapped up in that little boy. He is funny, happy, loud, strong-willed, determined, loving, and so much more. 

Caleb loves trains, trucks, dirt, bugs, squishing snails, playing outside, food, giving hugs and kisses, Sesame Street, helping Daddy with anything and everything, tickling and being tickled, cooking in the play kitchen and bossing around the dog.

For his birthday I took the kids to the Santa Barbara zoo via Amtrak. They both very much enjoyed the train ride. 

Then of course at the zoo we had to ride the train there too. I promise they had fun, it was just close to nap time.

The happy birthday boy on his new trike. We had to keep reminding Hannah that the gifts were for Caleb and she needed to let him play with them first.

We had a small kid party on his birthday. Here he is eating off of Melody's plate

 Caught red-handed

And maybe someday we'll get happy family pictures where all of us are looking at the camera and smiling (with clean faces). This is the best we can do for now

Enjoying some cake and "I-ceam" 

We love you Caleb Samuel and enjoy watching you grow into the man God has made you to be!

Our Happy Place

I realize I haven't posted on here in a while, our lives are just not that exciting. But a highlight of this month was going to one of our favorite places...Cayucos.

We took full advantage of Hannah's spring break and spent five nights there. It truly is our happy place. The minute we walk in the door of the two room beach house, we immediately take a deep breath and begin to relax. 

 

It was not exactly beach weather, and we even had rain, thunder, lightning and hail during the week.

 

 But that didn't keep us from hitting up our favorite spots: breakfast at the Sea Shanty, ice cream at the Candy Counter, and Bali's and Firestone in SLO. Of course we also had to visit the beach play equipment several times. 

 

 

With having to spend more time indoors the kids watched way too much tv (there's cable at the beach house, a treat for us!), and Chris taught Hannah how to play Solitaire. 

 Needing to fill a rainy day, we checked out the Children's Museum in SLO. The kids had a blast. Hannah made this stunning snake hat, and Caleb spent a lot of time driving the fire truck.

 We also filled our time by attending church at Calvary SLO and seeing some college friends. One morning we were blessed to meet some very dear friends for breakfast, Andy and Debbie Peak. I first met Debbie years ago through the church I attended in college, Shoreline Calvary Chapel. She mentored me for several years, and then helped coordinate my wedding! We had not seen them since our wedding and we were so grateful to catch up on life with them. 

Even Nona came down for a visit one day. Needless to say it was a wonderful vacation and we were able to return home rested and will full hearts.

Rainy Day Fun

We were so grateful to have some rain a little over a week ago. We made fires, drank hot chocolate, and splashed in puddles.

And now this week we are enduring blazing hot Santa Ana winds again. Sheesh. So again we are praying for rain, and more opportunities to splash in puddles.

Dangerous Worship

There is a fairly new song we've been singing at church called "Oceans" by Hillsong. You can listen to it here.

I first heard it at a conference in June of last year and immediately loved it. The lyrics are very powerful, but also very dangerous. What do I mean? In particular I am referring to the bridge:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters 

wherever you would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my savior

That is a big, dangerous prayer. And every time I sing this song I have to ask myself: Do I really mean what I am saying? Do I really want God to take me deeper? Am I really willing to go wherever He would call me? I pray that is true. It is hard for me to completely let go sometimes. There is a part of me that always wants to be in control and know what is coming next. I sometimes am scared to turn over control of all my life, especially my dreams, when there is really no reason to be afraid. 

It's times like this when I am thankful for verses like Psalm 32:8, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye." Coupled along with His promise to never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), we can have confidence that God will be with us every step of our journeys and will provide for us along the way. I have never been disappointed by God's plans for us in those times when I have fully surrendered to Him.

So lets boldly sing those words, and put our trust fully in God, who has never failed us, and won't start now.

New Year, New Ambitions

I have been slacking on this blog, partly because I'm not sure if anyone reads it. But in the hopes that someone does check in here every so often, I'm hoping to do better this year. And it's fun for me to look back and remember what we've been up to in the last year.

So, since I missed a Christmas/holiday post, here are your standard happy children on Christmas pictures.

 Hannah could hardly contain her excitement for Christmas this year. She loved everything about it, from decorating the tree to making cookies, decorating a gingerbread house, reading our Jesse Tree book, listening to Christmas music, drinking hot cocoa, and of course opening presents. Her favorite present is her new pink bb gun. Don't worry, it's locked away in the safe and she's only allowed to shoot it while sitting in Daddy's lap. Chris has been very diligent in teaching her gun safety.

Here is Caleb with his two favorite gifts: a guitar and camo boots. This is how he looked for most of Christmas day.

And of course I have no pictures of me and Chris. That's what happens when you're always the one behind the camera. 

So, on to a new year, and almost 1/12 of the way through it already. I will try to post more frequently on here, and I'm hoping to share some other things besides just pictures of the kids. Maybe some of my favorite recipes or things I'm learning. We shall see...Happy New Year!