Family Update

"Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the LORD!"

Psalm 27:14

This verse was given to me in January by a sweet friend in the midst of one of my biggest trials; trying for another baby and having to wait on the Lord for His timing. It all started back in January of 2010 when we decided to start trying. Since I had no trouble conceiving with Hannah (we were sort of shocked at how fast it happened), we assumed that would be the case with baby #2...not so much. I was so anxious to get pregnant, because I was entering my 30's and I wanted our kids close in age.
With every month that went by I felt my dreams slipping out of my hands. Yes, we were praying, but I wasn't really trusting God. I was clinging so tight to my dreams and plans and wanting God to bless those, instead of surrendering to His plans. I began having blood work done to check hormone levels, and after getting the results my midwife suggested going on clomid, a fertility drug. I told her I was willing to do anything. Once again, me trying to do it in my power and not seeking God for what He wanted for us.
In the midst of all this, several good friends got pregnant and had their babies earlier this year. While I was happy for them, I was constantly reminded of my struggle and inability to get pregnant. And isn't that how the enemy likes to work? As God is doing a work in us and refining us through a trial, the enemy works overtime to point out our weaknesses and distract us from staying focused on God. I had to constantly remind myself that I can't compare our family to another. God has unique plans for each of us. And so Hebrews 13:5 became a verse to cling to: "Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'"
By May of this year, after 6 months on the clomid (with lots of hot flashes) and no baby, I was an emotional mess. I really felt God telling me it was time to stop. It was affecting our family and we all needed a break. I needed to finally surrender to God and be willing to accept whatever His plans for us, even if that meant not having another baby. It was difficult for me, but I felt a peace about it. The very next day, my mother in law called and said as she had been reading through a passage in Isaiah that morning she just kept thinking of me and needed to share that scripture. She knew we had been trying for a baby, but didn't know that the day before we had made the decision to take a break. The verses are Isaiah 54:1-10, it's long so I won't write out the whole thing, but it was God's word specifically for me that day.
"Sing, O barren, you who have not borne! Break forth into singing, and cry aloud, you who have not labored with child!...Enlarge the place of your tent, and let them stretch out the curtains of your dwellings; do not spare; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes. For you shall expand to the right and to the left...Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame...For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is His name...'For a mere moment I have forsaken you, but with great mercies I will gather you...with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you,' says the Lord, your Redeemer."
I can't tell you what a comfort that scripture was and is to me, it reminded me that God knows and cares about my situation and has not forgotten about me.
So finally in August, Chris suggested that we try again, and the Lord has faithfully answered our prayer! I am about 12 weeks pregnant now and due in mid May. I am overwhelmed by God's faithfulness, and through this whole trial have learned how much more I need to trust God with my dreams and be surrendered to His plan. Once I let go of my agenda, He was able to do His work. Please continue to pray with us for this baby as it grows. The first trimester was rough but now that I'm feeling better I'll try to update along the way. Praise God!
Here's the peanut at 8 weeks, the head is on the left and body on the right with nubs for arms and legs.